Appeal for Help

As some already know, I've had the shittiest of weeks. The project, car windscreen, the debacle in ethics tutorial, not going for ski trip, figuring out that a lot of judgement has been passed on me for the sending of the mass email. It really wasn't the easiest thing to do to send out an email to 200 over of my closer friends and get unexpected responses. It was even harder to send out another email taking back the words of my first. However, if anyone would still like to assist me in this time of financial stresses, you can donate to me via the paypal button or to my bank accounts. Please email me first.

Birthday Surprises

The last couple of months had been most interesting. I met the most amazing girl on the plane (who's now my girlfriend). Had an awesome 21^st birthday surprise bbq celebration at Coogee beach, a wonderful Melbourne trip where I spent too much money shopping. The special day at southern cross station when I asked Amy to be my girlfriend. Going back early to Syd and missing Singapore day so that I could go watch Amy's Guzheng performance at some weird suburb that's so totally out of the way lol. My birthday night out at Arthur's Pizza then cold rock having icecream. Birthday cards from family, Natalie and then girlfriend. 2 of which has kittens(= The French for dummies from Amy wrapped in 2 pieces of paper that she spent the last bits of her black toner printing.

Eating at all the different places with Amy. Church welcome dinner; Subway(Broadway); Shalom @ Anzac; Gloria Jean's at Newtown and Broadway; Thai La Ong, EASYWAY; Starbucks; Poporo; Newtown Indian place(before Olympics opening); Dumpling King; Taiwan Tea Inn @ Anzac; Ayam Goreng 99; Maccas; Pancakes at darling when she was down and again at the rocks with rahul; Broadway food court(the Italian food ran by Chinese couple); Dominos at rahul's and her place and biblestudygroup picnic; Caipeng at Unilodge; Sushi at Broadway; Lansdowne; Lousy noodle place on Anzac; Butterchicken @ UNSWFare.

Just received a bunch of stuff from the scout sergeants. Ivan, Ivna, Dann, Ben, Unclekai, Pnr John, Madman, Lam, Rayloh, YS Lim. Was laughing all the way back from the post office because of the face that Ivan drew of Rayloh.

Here's an inventory of stuff I got in that package:
1x orange cone that says "I AM GOING NUCKING FUTS!" I think from rayloh
1x Torres Figure from pioneer
2x Inspirational scrolls (one has Lam3:22-23 and the other Prov4:18) from YS Lim
1x Photo from company cohesion from Ivan (the one with yuenloong and the 2 red bikini girls)
1x Socks from uncle kai
1x Cool plastic shades from Hairy
1x A5 Notebook from madman (the rest complain that his notebook made the postage weight double!)
1x Green light stick (no idea who gave this)
1x D.I.Y. Magic Crystal Jelly… the funny jelly that grows in size if u put in water(from ivan)
1x Singtel Post-its that advertises the FREE Unlimited SMS with the singtel mobile student plan(DAMN IT I WANT FREE SMS IN AUSTRALIA) also from ivan
1x "How To Walk in LOVE" from Ivna – on the plastic covering it says "HAPPY KEN HAPPY AMY"
1x Photo frame frm 54C TC. Hahaha damn gay photo frame with a message in the center!!

THANKS GUYS. YOU GUYS MADE MY DAY! (=

Glen's out of focus

Hahahaaaaaa stuff that happened during dive trip at seaventures!
Glen tried to test the autofocus of my camera so he moves really quickly to see if my camera can capture a still picture in focus. I HAD to take a video (=

Kept promises

I guess everything just piles up. It's true. Nice guys finish last. When it's always about the other party's wellbeing and feelings, the nice guy will get neglected. Always.

I remember asking about going to church, and bible study and all. It so happens that someone else did as well. What a positive response that person got. I just got shot down. With an email. How personal.

I seriously doubt things can return to even a fraction of what it was. More and more I see how much everything was based on lies. When even at this point, lies keep flowing. When it's so easy to throw away everything now, I doubt it even meant anything at the start. Ghost of a good thing. And I do hate the winter in Lexington.

Dashboard Confessional - Age Six Racer

Hey thanks, thanks for that summer

It's cold where you're going

I hope that you're heart's always warm

I gave you the best

I gave you the best that i had

You passed on the letters

And passed on the best that i had.

 

So, So long sweet summer

I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays

So long sweet slumber

I fell into you, now you're gracefully falling away

Back when i still had hair

When caveman style hair was still vogue. That, and tucked out uniform. And teachers threatening to not allow me to take my A Levels. And the nonchalance look while taking photos.

Mr Chloe Sim Meow Meow - Self explanatory really... If only i can get the vid of him walking around with his head in the tissue box.

Somewhere in Taiwan between turns playing the "kiap kiap" machine.

Before the switchfoot concert. I think I was still teaching at Macpherson then... and my hair was highlighted. ROCK FOR WAYNE tshirt!!

Half of the youth! Thats really a gay smile but... nothing new really hahaha. OH MAN I MISS YOU GUYS. AND I'M REALLY JEALOUS THAT RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS ARE AT PULAU SPRINGS HAVING CHURCH CAMP AND I'M TRYING TO CRAM FOR EXAMS!!! ARGHHHHH

Why am I affected so much?

Well that's a question I really haven't asked myself. I ought to. So I did. And this is the answer I got from myself. I feel utterly cheated. It feels as if the entire friendship was built upon lies and a bloody joke that's even funny. I also thought I let too many good friendships go because of this joke. Don't expect me to smile and shake hands and think everything's all cheery and rosy, and that this entire thing didn't happen. I thought I could. But no. It gets hard when someone you think you know ends up being so phoney. It sucks worse especially when they were once the rocks that set me in place in Sydney.

Let go. How do I even do that? When you're going to be in the same course for 6 years, your lives are bound to cross. When the people you hang out with are the same, it really isn't easy. When I have been ignored, thrown aside (for other more fun friends) and kindness abused, how can I still just turn around with smile and say it doesn't matter? Why do I still say it's not a problem when most of the time, it is the main problem that's been keeping me up, distracting me from studying, distracting me from my other friends???

Sometimes I ask myself. Why bother? Why even care? There are so many good people and worthy friends out there that I can have and make. But really, how can you be closest of friends for 3 months, and then suddenly not talk? That's my difficulty.

I'll be surprised if aforementioned parties read this and are surprised.

Screw this shit.

Didn’t get to watch Edward scissorhand in the end

Ahahaha happy now Shawna? Hahaha we didn't watch in the end cauz i had clinical at Sutherland hospital which was like far far far far far away. So i didn't know if i could make it in time. Coupled with the fact that it was peak hour traffic... yea.Chloe sleeping in the laundry basket (=

Random Rants | Mindless Muses

I always thought the ideal friend is one who can dispense the right words to make you feel better, the rock who is ever so reliant. But then I realise that's not a friendship. It's a mentorship. I also believed in sharing some of my inner most thoughts because, then, it becomes a relationship, not some one way problem solving counselling session. Sometimes when I'm emo, I let it be known to my best friends (whether explicitly or by facial expression etc). It's not that I'm looking for any sympathy. It's just that I do not believe in hiding any of my feelings especially to those who mean a lot to me. So what indeed is the ideal friend? Probably someone who's there when you need someone? Someone who brings out the best in you? Someone who makes you feel good about yourself?

It's hard to think these issues through when the only things that running through your mind are IVF as well as the exam that's looming around the corner.

On a lighter note, I've found myself a bible study group. I feel very comfortable with them and during my first meeting volunteered to be birthday reminder boy. I had dinner with them after FOCUS church meeting. It's pretty awesome to hang with this bunch of people. I'm on that high and have this crazy feeling of expectation not unlike how I felt when I first met my OG on the first day of school. Surprisingly, I didn't feel too left out when Penny, Chris, Dory and Denzil went to macers. Normally, I would have been.

So after weeks thinking about this, I figured it is really essential to be true to friends as well as my feelings. There's no more bottling up stuff. Apparently if I do so, even though I think I'm trying not to be bitchy about things, it shows on my face so very clearly. I also think it's not healthy for me and my unrealistic expectations of my friends. Even though I know my friends are not obliged to return any of my treatment, I think deep down inside I probably still yearn for some of that. Perhaps what I'm really seeking is emotional comfort. But it really is unfair to ask for that much and not consider how much the other parties are going through.

Nip|Tuck has to be locked away. I bought season 1-4 and I really should chuck it aside until after the exams.

Looking forward to Edward Scissorhand this Thurs! First show at the Sydney opera house!!

Extract from Cheryl’s blog from oh so long ago... =)

But then I had a fantabulous dinner with KEN SIM, yay! So that was just a nice ending to an already nice day ;D Heh heh I made him come all the way from camp at Bedok just to have dinner with me in town.

Yet again he's gotta listen to me rant about the same stuffs... For the... 4th time running, right? He says that it's become a routine for him to talk to me like that. But you've gotta have some faith in me ok! Hehe. Just about someday we'd be able to stop talking about this already!

And as usual, I was craving for a Zinger, so that was what we had. Beat that man, all the way from Bedok just to have a Zinger with Cheryl Chan. Queue was super long. So we were texting right.

"In case you forget. Normal fries. Lemonade. And get a spoon please! Hehe thanks! you rock."

"!! There's a waitress here who's quite chio... Haha..."

"I guess the long queue is worth it afterall. In the event the food doesn't satisfy. Lol. Deprived army boys. Tut tut! Or that I'm not entertaining enough tonight! Heehee. Anyway. I see coloured straws! I want red. THANKS! Oh gosh I can't believe I just said that."

"I am not a deprived army boy! I merely told you my observation... And your order is so troublesome..."

"Gives you more conversation time with miss chio. And eye contact. Wink wink."

Haha I've been catching up with Cheryl online the last few days. Amazing. She's in Christchurch. We were supposed to meet up before either of us left for NZ or Aus... but didn't have the time, or rather had other commitments. Oh well. Once again its back to the mutual bitching abt other people... Whining is a more accurate word.

Lol the scenario we're on now is teenage pregnancy. It's amazing how much we have to learn on the pelvis and female reproductive system. And its abit difficult because i haven't learnt any of it. The other sgp dudes learnt it in sec 4 for O lvl bio and took human reproduction for their option topic in A lvl bio... i dropped bio after sec 3, and did biotech in A lvl. Oh well.

Recently went up to the blue mountains with Penny Xinyi(penny's cousin) and Chris for a lil holiday. It was freaking cold. 2-9 degrees. But we were prepared. It was good fun, waking up at 5+am to give Penny a wake-up call only to find out she's been awake for an hr. Chionging for the train, The girls sleeping with their hoodies over their faces, Great scenary in Katoomba, Walking to see the 3 sisters. Took the funicular tram, cable car, gondola... did that all before in our last trip to syd with the parents but its all fun doing it again with friends! Making the beds, Almost staying awake the whole night, getting trashed by penny and xinyi in pool and foosball, playing blackjack with chips frm hsien's poker set. Free internet!!!! Trying to learn how to screw the ball properly but only realising that my stance, posture and the way i hold the cue is totally off )= Sneaking back downstairs to find xinyi's lipbalm, having a hard time waking the girls. Xinyi still operating on Singapore time (omg that was hilarious her 4 alarms didn't work cauz she was still on sgp time hahahaaA). The awesome lunch at that pub; penny breaking the dart, penny making that crazy pool shot that got the bartenders awestruck(i was just shaking my head... cauz any compliment had negative effect on the girl). Rushing to get the tics, to get the train, everyone sleeping on the train. The lady appearing and disappearing. Coin drop(with bad results this time), Samsung 22 inch LCD, My logitech G5 mouse, Nice dinner at some Italian restaurant, not finding the stupid coindrop which was actually on George street not on Pitt street.

It's all really good fun. I'm so glad we're all a spontaneous bunch (= Nxt time we'd prob go to the caves; if and when we have more money.

Dive Musings.

k e n says:

haha eventually we'll get our own tank and compressor so we can dive from our own van

glen says:

*yacht

k e n says:

lol

yes

boat boat damn it

the plans lying dormant in my room

damn it damn it

glen says:

u know the bumboats to ubin?

19k second hand

k e n says:

wah

damn big leh those boats

we can buy those

and convert to dive boat

and then put compressor on it

and run our business

and eventually we'll upgrade to a ship... and put a decompression chamber

and sail around the world

as a mobile decompression unit

or we sail with the US navy

our navy too noob alr

dun want

glen says:

we make it nuclear powered

k e n says:

then we do humanitarian aid

glen says:

then we can power all sorts of crap already

k e n says:

oh ya

nuclear power is damn good

glen says:

can run a lab on the boat

can be the boat doctors

k e n says:

and we hire serologists, patho, onco,

erm... dermatologist...

hahahaha

in case our customers scared of the sun... and effects of the sun

basket our dermatologist will earn the most money

we put an operating theatre

and hire an anesthetist for minimum wages

but we let him dive for free

I’m using Microsoft word to blog...

Ok this is quite cool. I figured i could use Microsoft word to publish directly to blogger.

For all who's still reading my blog, i know i haven't updated it in the longest time. Sorry for that. I can't really put images up but my photos are all on facebook. Add me if you want.

The last few weeks have been the craziest time in my life. I moved to Sydney, stayed in an apartment with 2 really really nice Malaysian dudes, started medical school, went for Mardi Gras (omg it was insane... there were these gay Taiwanese dudes who were really pissed at me because i stole all their hugs... all i had to do was yell HEYYY to any of the paraders, stick my hands out, and they'd come over to give me a hug... i wore a tight pink shirt, hair band... and will never do this again), holidayed in Melbourne during the easter break (the most amazing thing was that the friend who was hosting penny... is henry and will's housemate!!! Lunch at their place was like mini ECC gathering... uncle benny, aunty prue, nat, will, henry, aunty nat...; met loads of friends in melb. Got my new phone in melb[dad bought frm sgp and passed to aunty prue]. Got late for our bus to the airport... rahul rox.), ice cream cone at macers(over here pple call it macers and not macs. Ice cream cone is 50c. Having the resolution not to eat at macers anymore, breaking that the day after. We call the macs across shalom KAP cauz it had the play area that reminded us of KAP. Running back up baser steps to upper campus because penny had her curfew to meet.), Sunday mornings in the city for church (chris penny and i attend Wesley Mission at 220 pitt street, starbucks(hub) coffee every Sunday morning, awesome lunch after church at Ginger and Spice [http://www.smh.com.au/news/restaurant-reviews/ginger-amp-spice-singapore-restaurant/2007/10/01/1191090984613.html, http://sydney.citysearch.com.au/restaurants/viewContent/1119945819575/1137405250458, http://www.bestrestaurants.com.au/restaurants/NSW-Sydney-gingerspice.aspx,] timsum, jap food etc.), chionging late nights to complete work(individual assignments, draft portfolio, group projects, no-doz caffeine tabs the next day)...

I'd really love to upload pics, but everytime i want to do that i'm in my room. And internet in my room is billed per mb. Its 2c/mb. Free wifi in the library and most other parts of sch but whenever i'm in the library or in sch, i don't remember to upload pics...

It's a. Rina's birthday today so.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I miss ECC... cant wait to go back in June. Pity i'll be missing out on church camp in june. I'm probably going to commit myself to the rest of the mission trips ECC organise. GTG back to work... )=

it came crashing down

didn't we kill it the last time? probably. but its surfacing again. gone were the days of peace and safety. never can we have an avro of fun and laughter without worrying about the beast.

it all began a long time ago. how naive we were, thinking that all was fine. even in our father's time, the monster was lurking. finding that opportunity to strike. waiting for the point when we were most complacent and at our weakest. it'll strike hard, again and again, until the village is no more. our home. our little sanctuary. the beast is sneaky. even thou most were ignorant about it, even in the early days, the village sent our warriors to battle. time after time, we overcome the beast. but just barely. we never got a chance to finish it off. it ran off, only to recover and strike again another day.

complacency has no place in this battle. the monster has its minions. hiding in every corner. whispering in our heads evil thoughts, gathering false information and spreading it around. that's how the monster works best. it gives us the confidence that we will not fail. overconfidence is the bane of our village.

this time, as the monster approaches our shore, we begin preparation for battle. this time, the whole village is involved. this time, we fought off the initial wave of minions. this time, we're wary of the monster's tricks. will we prevail?

Faith or Deed?

So are we justified by faith or deeds?

To say that blind faith without deed is a farce would be rather harsh. I'd prefer to put it this way: we should let our actions express our faith in a way that is befitting of a Christian. Its one thing to postulate or discuss. Its another altogether when we're brought back down to earth and are distracted by earthly desires, emotions and beliefs. Its easy to say if its meant to be, it'll be; but the possibility of our actions changing the outcome dangles like a carrot. Our freedom of choice is the very thing that causes us to make wrong decisions. Wouldn't it be great if a path is created for us which we would only just have to follow? No difficult or wrong decisions would have to be made.

Constantly, we're exposed to seeds of evil and jealousy being planted in our heads. Its a constant battle or even a war with the evil forces in the world. But sometimes we're so caught up with the world that we allow these seeds of evil and jealousy to manifest. Brothers and sisters reading this, I tell you, it is a fallen world we live in, and we are all flawed. A conscious effort has to be made to fight the evil. Extract ourselves from the worldly situation and look at our lives through heaven's eyes. Then reflect on our actions and thoughts. Evil grows in our minds so I always find myself asking for purity in thought, to be true to what i say, believe, and even think i believe.

Do I wait for God's master plan to unravel itself to me? Or do I begin to pursue what I actively believe in? How do you follow your heart when all its telling you is to screw someone over? How can i tell somebody that their thinking is flawed when i share the exact sentiments? How do you not feel like a fake?

What can i do to make sure my will is alligned with God's plan for me?

My first cooked breakfast

Attempts at preparing something for breakfast came through. I finally have a proper breakfast. Although i really should have done the bacon last, so it'll be nice and hot, its all good =).

Eh glen taking out the trash isnothingggggggg la. haha I really have to make a concious effort not to go to Macers or eat instant noodles for meals. Things are about to change for the better after yesterday's grocery spree...

Going to melb over easter!!!! cant wait!