Youth

I'm ashamed of my shortcomings. It was there. My chance to prove myself. I let it slip. I gave aunty Rina a chance to be disappointed in me again. Thats the 3rd time? First was the lousy activity that happened week ago. Nick and I were supposed to plan activities. Nothing was done. I suppose I, as the older, more mature one, was supposed to initiate the planning etc. But no. Nothing was done. Next was the monthly activity we are supposed to do. Nothing done by me either. Aunty Rina's just gone straight to asking nick to plan it. Today, there was a chance to lead youth worship next week. I looked away. When did it become like this? I was never one to shy away from a chance to lead, a chance to prove myself. Was it army? The Specialist unspoken rule of dodging trouble whenever we had the chance to. All the self-centeredness the PSLs tried so hard to get rid of in Sec 1 is back. Its sick. What happened to Kelvin Kow's "we're in buckley so we will not pass the buck!"? I know what happened to it. Sadly, its back.

I'm going to start making lists of things to get/do in preparation for leaving Singapore. First up is to get my Visa settled. Then accom. Then buy laundry basket, duffel bag, etc. I shd do this on a piece of paper and pin it up to my wall.