Random Rants | Mindless Muses

I always thought the ideal friend is one who can dispense the right words to make you feel better, the rock who is ever so reliant. But then I realise that's not a friendship. It's a mentorship. I also believed in sharing some of my inner most thoughts because, then, it becomes a relationship, not some one way problem solving counselling session. Sometimes when I'm emo, I let it be known to my best friends (whether explicitly or by facial expression etc). It's not that I'm looking for any sympathy. It's just that I do not believe in hiding any of my feelings especially to those who mean a lot to me. So what indeed is the ideal friend? Probably someone who's there when you need someone? Someone who brings out the best in you? Someone who makes you feel good about yourself?

It's hard to think these issues through when the only things that running through your mind are IVF as well as the exam that's looming around the corner.

On a lighter note, I've found myself a bible study group. I feel very comfortable with them and during my first meeting volunteered to be birthday reminder boy. I had dinner with them after FOCUS church meeting. It's pretty awesome to hang with this bunch of people. I'm on that high and have this crazy feeling of expectation not unlike how I felt when I first met my OG on the first day of school. Surprisingly, I didn't feel too left out when Penny, Chris, Dory and Denzil went to macers. Normally, I would have been.

So after weeks thinking about this, I figured it is really essential to be true to friends as well as my feelings. There's no more bottling up stuff. Apparently if I do so, even though I think I'm trying not to be bitchy about things, it shows on my face so very clearly. I also think it's not healthy for me and my unrealistic expectations of my friends. Even though I know my friends are not obliged to return any of my treatment, I think deep down inside I probably still yearn for some of that. Perhaps what I'm really seeking is emotional comfort. But it really is unfair to ask for that much and not consider how much the other parties are going through.

Nip|Tuck has to be locked away. I bought season 1-4 and I really should chuck it aside until after the exams.

Looking forward to Edward Scissorhand this Thurs! First show at the Sydney opera house!!